


Mom's Song

by robolife



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Glenn isn't a good person but his core I do think he is a good dad, Lullabies, Mentions of others but this is really just a close boys special, canon compliant insofar as i can be, i regret to inform you all that i have written a songfic in the year 2020, mentions of grief, not really important but the entire close family is trans u cant change my mind, spoilers through episode 33, thats why glenn was loopy from pain meds and his wife drove them home from the hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:53:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robolife/pseuds/robolife
Summary: The story of a lullaby for a boy who deserved so much more than his father could give him
Relationships: (past) Glenn Close/Morgan Freeman, Glenn Close & Nick Close
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	Mom's Song

_When the night has come_

_And the land is dark_

_And the moon is the only light we'll see_

The first time they sang it for him he was two and half days old, and they were driving home from the hospital. Glenn still wasn’t allowed to drive, a little too out of it still, so he held the smallest human he’d ever seen close to him and kept his eyes on his wife, reminding her to _please_ keep your eyes on the road, the baby isn’t going anywhere but this car sure is. They’d hit a pothole- old enough that they knew about it, new enough that it wasn’t something either of them automatically avoided yet- when he’d started crying. Fresh tears welling up in those tiny little eyes, wailing from his cocoon of blankets and refusing to be shushed by either of his parents. 

The radio could barely be heard, but they didn’t really need it, they just needed the spark of an idea and a moment where their eyes met. Glenn knew she was a dancer, knew that of the two of them he was the one whose entire career was built on singing, but he would always swear by the fact that her voice was the most beautiful he’d ever heard. So he let her start, turning the radio down to sing the first words instead of jumping in with it at the middle of a chorus. He joined her after a beat, staring down into those two crying eyes as they slowly focused on him, his cries settling to silent coos as his parents serenaded him. Glenn didn’t know he was capable of loving someone this much. 

_No, I won't be afraid_

_Oh, I won't be afraid_

_Just as long as you stand_

_Stand by me_

It became Nick’s lullaby after that, a song they sang in the middle of the night when he needed something but didn’t have the words to say what yet. A song that drifted from his room as one or both of them put him to bed after reading whatever story his mind decided _must_ be read that night. When he was sick, when he was sad, when he had a nightmare and crawled into their bed at three in the morning- they sang it for him, quiet and low, and watched each time as it coaxed him into a gentle sleep. 

_So darlin', darlin'_

_Stand by me, oh, stand by me_

_Oh, stand, stand by me_

_Stand by me_

The last time they sang it together hadn’t even been the night beforehand. He’d had a show ending late so it had just been Nick and Morgan that night, and as far as he knew it was just like any other. They hadn’t both sung it to him since the week before, when he’d found Glenn’s collection of cd covers they’d hid away because they were worried the album art would give a toddler nightmares. Turns out they were right. So that was the last time they’d sung it together, a small body sandwiched safe between them, their notes drifting over him in the quiet of night. 

If he’d known, maybe he would have cancelled that night, and gone home to sing their son a lullaby. 

_If the sky that we look upon_

_Should tumble and fall_

_Or the mountain should crumble to the sea_

Glenn doesn’t think anyone can ever be prepared to tell their three year old that Mom won’t be coming home. He can’t remember that first week after it happened, not really. The first thing that isn’t a disconnected blur of grief and pain is the image of Nick, eyes wide and still so small, still so tiny and filled with tears, asking in what little words he had a grasp on why he was asleep on the floor. He was passed out on the kitchen floor and he didn’t know why. 

But his son was crying, and he wanted to cry too, but his eyes were just...dry. It felt like he’d spent a week crying and doing nothing else, and now he had nothing left inside him. Nick clung to his shirt when he sat up, trembling, and Glenn realized he wasn’t really able to do this alone. He never was, and he sure as shit wouldn’t be able to suddenly change that, not now.

He didn’t sing anything that night, but he spent it curled around his boy in his bed, unable to stomach the thought of sleeping in his own room when she wasn’t there, when she would never be there again. 

He spent that whole year either sleeping on the couch, or in Nick’s bed, and he didn’t sing once. 

_I won't cry, I won't cry_

_No, I won't shed a tear_

_Just as long as you stand_

_Stand by me_

The first time Glenn sings it by himself is the night before Nick’s first day of school. He’d stood at the doorway to his room, clutching the plush bird they’d gotten him when he was two and couldn’t stop staring at it the whole time they were in the store. Glenn had wished, like he did every day, that she could be here instead of him. He’d stopped hoping for a world with the two of them together by then, but he couldn’t stop the ache deep in his gut that would do anything to give Nick the parent he deserved, the parent he couldn’t be- didn’t know how to be. 

When he’d opened his arms for a hug that night Nick had run straight into them like a bullet, and asked him something that broke his heart when he didn’t even think it could break further. 

“Can you sing Mom’s song?” He’d asked, with all the full bodied sorrow and fear that came with being six years old. And so he did, voice scratchy and hoarse because he barely sang in the off season anymore, and he was trying so very hard to keep it from shaking. But he sang, and Nick fell asleep a few minutes later with a quiet, relieved sigh that made Glenn feel like he was falling apart. 

_And darlin', darlin'_

_Stand by me, oh, stand by me_

_Oh, stand now, stand by me_

_Stand by me_

Nick decides he’s too old to come crying to him sometime between the ages of 8 and 9, and Glenn hates himself for being relieved by it. But even then, sometimes, Nick will find him, quiet and glowering with too much angst for such a small body, and sit against his side, and Glenn will remember that he is a father. Not a good one- never a good one, not without her- but sometimes he remembers it in time not to fuck it up. So he’ll hum it, or sing it quietly, under his breath, and he’ll feel the tension seep out of his son and end up carrying him to bed, tucking him in and pretending that tears aren’t threatening to fall from his eyes and never stop. 

_Darlin', darlin'_

_Stand by me, oh, stand by me_

_Oh, stand now, stand by me_

_Stand by me_

He’s twelve when he stops doing even that. He stops coming to him for comfort and Glenn hates himself for letting him pull away, for not stopping him. Because Glenn is pulling away too- has been for years, really. Nick wants to do everything he does, wants to hang out and be cool and Glenn convinces himself that if he can’t be a father then maybe it’s okay to just be a friend. He lets him take a puff of his joint and laughs as he coughs before getting him a cup of water. 

He teaches him to play the drums because the rhythm section is the heart of the band and he’s terrified that if he heard him sing now all he would hear is her. 

The song comes on the radio that morning as they both get ready for his soccer game and they both go quiet in a way they haven’t for a long time. Glenn can see Nick’s grip tighten as he ties his shoes and decides to break out the good strain early that day, because he can’t handle the memories right now and he doesn’t know what to do if Nick ever asks him about it. 

_Whenever you're in trouble, won't you stand by me?_

_Oh, stand by me_

_Won't you stand now?_

_Oh, stand, stand by me_

They’ve just gotten their kids back- for the second time, technically, but this time they stay- and Glenn can see the pain and fear in his son’s eyes and hates that he lets him pretend it isn’t there. His mind is reeling and all he can focus on is the parts of her in him that get clearer every day, her voice is fresh in his mind and he can’t let himself believe it’s real because how can he? How can he believe this sort of choice is available? Because if it was real then he’s pretty sure he would break apart, because she would never accept the exchange of Nick for her, she would never accept abandoning their son, no matter what. 

And despite everything, despite how horrible a person he is, Glenn wouldn’t accept it either. 

It’s their first night on the road after leaving Neverwinter, the van is gone and they’re camped outside a massive pit that they were almost roasted alive in, and he can’t sleep. Everything from the last few days haunts him but that one phone call keeps replaying inside his head like a plague. The idea of, even for a moment, seeing the purple- their dads when he closes his eyes makes his gut coil with a cool line of hatred he didn’t know he was capable. 

He still hasn’t talked to Nick about it- about any of it, really. He doesn’t know if he will. If he should. 

Henry is the one to suggest setting up a night watch rotation, since they no longer have the honda odyssey to provide them with protection. What surprises him is when Nick asks if he can join when Glenn volunteers himself for the first slot. He lets him, because he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to tell his son no, and because he probably is the one most likely to actually help of the five boys- he did join a group of thieves, after all. 

Glenn has his guitar, because in this terrifying world it’s something that lets him be powerful, and it grounds him, so he plays it quietly, mindless picking as he meanders through melodies that don’t really have any meaning. Nick is next to him, and he can feel the anxiety roll off him like waves, and his fingers start playing a familiar tune before he even realizes it’s happening. Nick looks at him then, and his eyes scared and suddenly so small again, and they’re in the car, driving home for the first time, and his heart aches at the reminder of how full of love he had been. He still was, if he thought about it, but it was too far buried underneath grief and self-loathing to do anyone any good. Nick looks down, but there’s a determination to him now, to how he holds himself. And he presses himself to Glenn’s side like he’s seven years old again and the world is too big for someone that small, and Glenn would do anything for him. 

“Can you sing it?”

The question is small but unwavering, and he can barely remember the last time Nick had asked it of him. He nods, jerkily, turning his gaze to the foreign moon in the sky, pushing back tears until the strangle-hold on his throat loosens, and plays the song that is so achingly familiar.

_Darlin', darlin'_

_Stand by me, oh, stand by me_

Once he starts he can’t stop, and he sings the words quietly, slowly, and hopes his boy knows how much he’s loved, even if Glenn will never be able to show it any other way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Morgan is a dancer because I love submergedmemory's depiction of her (go read their fics.....god tier)


End file.
